Those long months turned into a year and I was officially labelled infertile. By then, I had begun seeking fertility treatments. Three rounds of clomid didn’t do the trick, so my fertility specialist doubled the dose and gave it another three rounds. What often causes many women conceive twins and even triplets didn’t work for me either; nothing was working.
I had finally received a diagnosis of a scar tissue being built up in my uterus, a condition called Asherman’s Syndrome which occurred most likely from the miscarriage. This meant that if I ever did become pregnant, the chances of survival in the baby would be about 20%. Now, in addition to the obstacle I faced of even potentially becoming pregnant, I was told that the scar tissue would most likely grow back and would be detrimental to the pregnancy. This news was absolutely devastating to me. It meant the loss of my first baby caused me to not ever be able to have any other children of my own. I began to mourn the loss of ever being able to carry my own children.
A week after the diagnosis, I met with my fertility specialist who went over everything with me. She assured me that I had, in fact, been misdiagnosed. My uterus was misshapen and a simple surgical procedure would fix it.
“My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth, Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed…” Psalm 139-15,16
On month later, I had the surgery. Everything went smoothly and I was given a follow-up ultrasound to see how my uterus looked after the surgery. During the ultrasound the tech pointed out a tiny egg “looks like your ovulating.” she said.
I prayed for that little egg. I asked God to create life out of the egg I was able to witness with my very own eyes. Another nine days had passed when I got the courage to take a pregnancy test. Please, Jesus, let this be the month. I finally looked down at it, I couldn’t believe my eyes. As I peered closer, I saw what I had been begging God to see for over a year, a (faint) line! My eyes became misty as I shook in unbelief “Thank You, Jesus.”